You Are More than Enough

“God is most glorified when everything has gone wrong.. and yet He’s enough..”

-Matt Chandler

What a statement, eh?  It’s easy to write this when everything in life seems so peachy, but what happens when the Lord loves you so much that He sovereignly chooses to shake some of your foundations?  Can the same statement be said?

Bills can’t seem to get paid.

Your marriage is in shambles because your spouse and you can’t seem to “make it work”.

Alcoholism continues to be a pattern in the family, and yet another family member died of a damaged liver in his prime.

You just miscarried and knew the sex of your child.. he was a boy.. and you saw his frame – he wasn’t a “dot” on the screen.. but yet, he’s no longer on the screen.. you can’t seem to find him no matter how you try to analyze.

Is God truly enough during those times?  We all have different battles, don’t we?  To some it is that wicked disease called cancer, to others it’s that broken relationship that seems so far from healing, and to some there are hidden struggles that are beginning to be exposed as time unravels – things from childhood that you swore would never return.  Our struggles are so vast and so great, yet I know one thing remains – He is enough.

This totally isn’t a punk’d moment where I come in with a sign that says “just kidding”.

I promise you – He is enough.

I’m walking through a tough, uncomfortable season, and as I try to tackle some of my thoughts for the sake of this blog, I find myself questioning the Lord’s love in my life.  I know.. I know.. please pick your jaw back up.  I am guilty of questioning God’s love for me at moments.  Can we all be honest and agree I am not the only one?  It sounds selfish and so “not Christian” of me, right?  My apologies.

So, I’m mid into my thoughts and this is what I know – I know the Truth.  It is in these moments of trial and weakness that the Truth will deliver me.  I believe that.  Nothing in me deserves the Truth.. and certainly nothing in me deserves His love, but yet He bestows both to me in an outpouring.  So, I find that this moment.. right here.. with the questions.. and the tears.. and frustrations.. the silence that seems deafening.. is carried away by one thing – God.

His presence.. His very essence removes it all away.  Every fear.  Every struggle.  Every feeling of harm or hurt.  Removed.  This is my Truth.  I desperately cling to that.

The music plays in the background.  “Overcome” by Desperation Band is on replay.  That is my Truth.  It is my hope. 

“Savior, worthy of honor and glory.. worthy of all our praise.. You overcame..”

God, You are more than enough (I am reminding myself.. sorry, I need to preach to myself at times)

Back to what I was saying.. our situation should never determine how we respond back to God.  Our situations should never rob God of our praise to Him.  There is something so much more intimate and raw.. frankly, just beautiful.. about praising God through a storm.  Through the frustrations and bitterness, at times towards God and other times towards man, there is an utter desperation for a Savior.

That is the desperation that the Lord has planted in us.  We find ourselves brushing off the feeling with worldly things, yet nothing seems to suffice, right?  Nothing fills the void but the ultimate Savior.  Jesus Christ.

Whatever you are feeling right now, even in the midst of what is supposed to be an amazing week full of family, fun, love, and food – you may be battling with some real things.  I did just say that.  Christians do not have “unreal issues.”  They are very much real.  No need to brush that under the rug.  Do not let anyone tell you that you are not able to struggle – that you are not able to throw punches in the air.  When the dust settles, always remember this.. your Savior loves you with everything in Him.  You are not called to be this cookie-cutter Christian that looks perfect on the outside, untouched by the world, unharmed by painful events.  You do not need to walk with this swagger that life is yet to blow the stuffing out of you.  We all need to be saved.. daily.  Jesus Christ.  You need Him.  I need Him.

In the midst of the gray.. let God know that He is more than enough.  That does not change according to circumstance.  Absolutely nothing can make that Truth void.

Do you really want that puppy?

I received this in an email today.. it blessed my socks off.. I know it’ll do the same for you..

The story is told of a store owner who was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies for Sale.” The signs have a way of attracting children. Soon a little boy appeared at the sign and asked, “How much are you gonna sell those puppies for?” The store owner replied, “Anywhere from $30-$50.” The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. “I have $2.37, can I look at them?” The Store owner smiled and whistled. Out of the kennel came his dog named Lady, running down the aisle of his store followed by five little puppies. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy. He asked, “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The man explained that when the puppy was born the vet said that this puppy had a bad hip socket and would limp for the rest of his life.

The little boy got really excited and said “That’s the puppy I want to buy!” The man replied, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll give him to you.” The little boy got upset and looked straight into the man’s eyes and said, “I don’t want you to give him to me. He is worth every bit as much as the other dogs and I’ll pay the full price. In fact, I will give you $2.37 now and 50 cents every month until I have him paid for.”

The man countered, “You really don’t want to buy this puppy son. He is never gonna be able to run, jump and play like the other puppies.” The little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the man and said, “Well, I don’t run so well myself and the puppy will need someone who understands.”

The man was now biting his bottom lip. Tears welled up in his eyes, he smiled and said, “Son, I hope and pray that each and every one of these puppies will have an owner such as you.”

- – -

Thank-You Jesus for singling us out in the midst of the crowd, purchasing us at full-price, and finding beauty among all our defects..

I love You.

“All the Right Moves”

OneRepublic’s new album is awesome.. check it out.. seriously..

conference recap

My weekend..

*ponders*  ..I’m not even sure where to begin with it.. half of it seems like a blur!

I will share this with you all.. thanks for your prayers.. the conference went well.  The Lord did what He does best.. blew my socks off.  I’ve never experienced hearts stirred as much as with the girls I encountered.  Questions arose.  Transparency slightly peeked in.  The Lord moved.  I saw faces of guilt, shame, confusion and some of wonder.  The 23-year old girl in front of them speaking had nothing more to say than: “my heart is wicked.. even the best that I try to speak is filthy without the Lord intervening, so I ask that you look past myself and look to Him.  He is here.  Expect Him to intervene.”

I certainly was not the cookie-cutter speaker.  I’m sure when they saw me, they had me figured out.  Aren’t we all guilty of the same thing??  Figuring people out by our first glimpse of them?  I walked in with a black pea-coat, denim, and a nice black sweater, with these cute shoes I got from Punjab.  I chose to go for the “Less crazy/nappy hair approach” and I stuck with small studs instead of the usual funky stuff I like.  Was the impression given: “she looks like she has everything together?” .. “She seems sophisticated and boring.. what does she know about my lifestyle?” Who knows.  What I do know is this.. by the middle of our discussion.. walls began dropping.. hearts began softening.. and eyes began widening.  It’s as though they were shocked that someone who looked so “put together” had such a testimony to share.

So the first thing I did when I started the discussion was request them to pray for me.  To pray over my words.  To have the Lord filter through .. my carnality.. somehow.  They stood around myself and the co-leaders and interceded for the next few hours to be led by God.  Grace led that prayer.. there’s not many people I could just listen to for hours talk to God.. Grace is one of them.  I love her sincere heart when she talks to God.  Her words are not well-put together.. and thought about in advance.. they just come as her mouth opens.  I love it.

Everyone sat down and the next thing I said was this:  “if you want to receive something from this discussion, it is up to you.  I cannot do that for you.  I will not participate for you.  I require 2 things of you all.. I expect that to be followed through with..”

1 – Transparency.

• “If I’m going to keep it real with you ladies, I require the same in return.  Respect that.” That was my word selection.  Might have been blunt, but it is the truth.  Nothing is worse than cookie-cutter Christians who think they have their lives perfectly run.. and the rest of us are struggling to find Light at the end of the tunnel.. daily clinging to the Cross.

2- Participation.

• Nothing is worse than a group that does not talk.  My best professors in undergrad and grad were the ones who talked less, listened more, and created an atmosphere of open-dialogue.  We were going to do this together by serving one another.  If we disagree, fine.  We agree to disagree.

I LOVED my time with the girls.. wish it could have been longer.  My desire was this: that the Gospel would have been spoken through the topics.  Topical teaching is fine (if that is what I need to follow because of an organization’s rules) – but the Cross.. sanctification.. and the Gospel (as a whole) is what brings Truth and light into these topics.  Topics mean nothing without the meat & potatoes of the Word of God.  I certainly cannot give you an effective “10 steps to be a better woman,” because I’m still trying to tackle step 1.

It was an amazing experience.

This is my life folks.  This is what I do.  I run from it at times, but somehow the Lord continues to bring me back to it.  I as well as the entire Church body (although many choose not to admit it) look put-together on the outside.  Everything appears perfect.  We have great friendships and relationships.  Family life seems ideal to those who come from broken homes looking from the outside into our lives.  But, let me take this time to share with you a little secret.. if you haven’t heard it yet.. our lives are broken constantly.  Our families and friendships need the Lord’s grace daily.  We are far from perfection.  It is daily revealed to me of my utter need for a Savior.  I need clean-up in so many aspects of my life.  Do I choose to hide behind my inadequacies?  Sometimes.

So, when it comes to my life.. I have to echo the wise, raw words of Martin Luther.  He was such an amazing speaker.

“If You leave us on our own, we will easily wreck it.”

This is true.  I need saving.  I need a Savior.  You need saving.  You have a Savior.  He found us.  *smiles*  Have no fear.. let Him do what He is designed to do in your life.  Don’t wreck what the Lord could bless.  Get your paws off of it.. let the Lord place His hands on it.  Who else can say: “My hands took in nails for you, just so you could spend eternity with Me?“  No one else but God.  Those are some powerful hands.  Two words: lay off. Lay off the situation folks, and have Him take it from here.

Thanks again for your prayers for the conference.  They were really felt.  I can’t wait for Him to bask in His glory.. it’s His.  Those women are His.  I pray He gets to enjoy them.  Keep praying for this generation – I know something is stirring in the air..

prayer request – conference tomorrow

Prayer Request:

I’ve been prepping for a conference I’m attending tomorrow..

I will be leading a discussion group for college-aged girls..

I absolutely love what the Lord has been revealing to me.. about my own wicked heart.. and just things that need to be addressed within my own generation.

I do ask that you say a word for me in prayer whenever you get the chance.. and intercede on behalf of the young ladies who I will be ministering to..

Nothing happens unless the Lord waters the seed which is being planted.. so I ask for more than just a watering of the seed.. I ask for a torrential downpour of the Spirit.  May He hover over brokenness and bring to existence that which is not.  I truly find it to be an honor to serve Him.. for that.. I desire your prayers..

..as my inadequacies are ever before me and transparency is always a frightening concept.. especially in front of strange and new faces..

I’ll share with you how it goes when I return.. be blessed guys..

Times – Tenth Avenue

This song called “Times” has been blessing my socks off ALL week.. I absolutely love the lyrics to this..

Check out Tenth Avenue North.. their passion for the Lord is so precious to hear.. they totally wear their hearts on their sleeves.. nothing like genuine worship to an undeserved Savior!

Lyrics:

I know I need You

I need to love You

I love to see You, but it’s been so long

I long to feel You

I feel this need for You

And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

-

Now You pull me near You

When we’re close, I fear You

Still I’m afraid to tell You, all that I’ve done

Are You done forgiving?

Oh can You look past my pretending?

Lord, I’m so tired of defending, what I’ve become

What have I become?

-

I hear You say,

“My love is over. It’s underneath.

It’s inside. It’s in between.

The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel.

The times that you question, ‘Is this for real?’

The times you’re broken.

The times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well, My love is over, it’s underneath.

It’s inside, it’s in between.

These times you’re healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you’re falling from grace.

The times you’re hurting.

The times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I’m there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I’m there through your heartache.

I’m there in the storm.

My love I will keep you, by My power alone.

I don’t care where you fall, where you have been.

I’ll never forsake you, My love never ends.

It never ends.

Punjab Recap – Brotherly Love

You know what left me intrigued from the Punjab trip was the way people displayed their love towards one another.  They had no reservations displaying it.  This certainly puts Philadelphia to SHAME.  My gosh, we can’t even scratch surface on “brotherly love” after what my eyes saw in India.  It was pretty funny because the group of us that came from the States found this to be so different from our daily interactions with people back at home.

When we are in the States, we live life with the notion that people require space.  We don’t want to make others (or ourselves) uncomfortable, so everyone has their own space and we choose not to step over that boundary.  The moment we stepped into India, I felt as though that boundary flew out the window.  This is a funny truth.  I loved every moment of it.

Something I loved more is that this ability to display love started at a very young age.  This photograph to your upper left-hand corner is one of my favorites that I took while we were in Batalla, India.  I randomly saw these 4 little boys just loving on each other – they had no clue the photo was being taken.  They had such a sincere affection for each other.  Now, this was foreign to me.  I was immediately drawn to it and had to capture it on camera and share it with you all.  This was a learned behavior for these children.  They are born and raised in a society where it is not shameful to serve your fellow brother and sister in love.  It is  not embaressing to display affection.  These children are not born with the mentality of “I want to show my friends they are awesome to me, so I will give them a HUGE embrace.” Seriously folks??  Our carnality would never allow that.  We learn certain behaviors by what we are exposed to.

I always wonder why is it so bizarre for us to show actual brotherly love.  If Christ has called us to love one another like He has loved us, doesn’t it make sense to physically show our efforts??  Why are we so uncomfortable holding someone’s hand or rubbing someone’s shoulder.. or dare I say, giving someone a hug?? I feel like, I expect the Lord to be doing this for me.. why not give back what is given?  Can you imagine not receiving an embrace from God or have Him stop holding your hand??

Sometimes people just need us to stop talking and to start loving.  We need to break these walls that hold us back – walls that society, culture, and ourselves have built up.  In order to let the Lord’s love flow through our veins.. we need to start getting “uncomfortable”.  I am totally speaking to myself here.  I have such a HUGE issue with space and how I desire it so badly.  I feel like India was a massive reminder of how sometimes space can lead to complacent love.  It brings forth weak attempts to love people out of obligation, rather than relentlessly and with everything in us.

Prijo met these guys for the first time, as did us.. and as you can see, he was totally chucked into the waters of brotherly love.  It is the most refreshing thing to see Christians love on one another.  They don’t know anything about each other – they only know that God has brought them together for such a time as this.  I think that is absolutely awesome.  That is all we need to love.  I don’t think there were any gaps between these guys (as you can see).  Comfort zones.. out the window.

This is just a recap from my trip and a reminder for us to learn to love people without our walls of comfort stacked up high.  It’s easy to love friends and those we know intimately like family and accountability.. but strangers??  Let’s re-examine our hearts and the love God demonstrated for us on the Cross.. while we were yet sinners..

..Now we are called His friends.. what a difference a token of love can do, right??  Just a thought.

Lift up your Eyes

“And lifting up their eyes, they saw no one except Jesus Himself alone.” - Matthew 17:8

I had some down time before I started my day and I got to open up the Word to the book of Matthew.  I read some pretty awesome stuff.  Let’s flip over to the 17th chapter and briefly go through this passage.  Just a side note, this passage reminds me of Bebo Norman’s song: “Lift My Eyes,” which is amazing, and I recommend you check out!

So Jesus is being transfigured in this passage.  For those of you who are new to the Church scene and have no idea what I am talking about (have no fear!) – the transfiguration is where Jesus began radiating like the sun, his face and garments began shining, and most interesting is probably the fact that Moses and Elijah appeared to the apostles talking to Jesus during this time.  Can you even imagine what this looks like??  Two dead prophets from the old just chatting it up and having a good ole time with Jesus (who is still very much alive).  I don’t know how one could witness this and not be marveled by the sight.

Here enters good ole Peter into the scene.  He speaks to Jesus saying (in 21st Century words) ‘if you would like us here, we will continue to remain here and while we are here we can build 3 tabernacles – 1 for You, 1 for Moses, and 1 for Elijah.’ Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture, nothing sinfully wrong at least.. but isn’t it funny that even for a moment, Peter got his eyes off of Jesus and on less important things – Moses and Elijah.  I find it to be even more amusing that about a verse later (vs. 5) God immediately brought Peter’s focus back, along with the rest of the disciples.

God didn’t miss that opportunity to bring these men back in line.  He was not having it.  Jesus Christ was the only One who would receive glory and honor.  Although, if I was there.. I would think it’s pretty cool to see Moses and Elijah as well!  *smiles*

So, as soon as the disciples hear this they fall to the ground, face down, trembling.  Jesus does next what only He can do – He touches them and speaks peace over them.  What happens next I LOVE.. it says the disciples lift up their eyes and saw no one except Jesus Himself.

It’s interesting when we look around we find ourselves getting distracted in life.  I’m not saying all distractions are bad things.  Some distractions are good things, such as: family, friends, dreams & desires, but they still find ways to deter us from our Calling.  But it’s funny that when the moment we lift up our eyes – EVERYTHING fades.  Did you catch that??  The moment the disciples lifted up their eyes.. every thing else was gone – there was no Elijah and no Moses, it says Jesus was ALL they saw.

For this reason, I greatly appreciate the Psalmist David because he was constantly bringing himself to a point where he had to raise his eyes to the Lord.  When all around him seemed to cave in and mess up, the Lord seemed to be the only fixed One.  David knew this.  His life was full of distractions.  He was a King, a father, a husband, a friend, a brother, a musician, a shepherd at one point in time, a poet.. this list could go on.  He had many titles.  People knew him in various facets.  He had much in life to be distracted by, but he did one thing that to this day gives him the title of: “man after God’s own heart”. He lifted his eyes to the Lord.  None of those titles remain when the Lord spoke a new one over him.  That’s profound to me!

So, this blog is just a friendly reminder to keep our eyes lifted to Him.  Do not be surprised when you look around and find distractions multiplying.  Don’t freak out.  I feel like I’m speaking this to myself!  *grins*   I freak out about everything.. because I simply push off lifting my eyes.  Everything could be solved with just one glance of Jesus.  As I close, I just want you to know Jesus loves you and He is waiting for you to raise your eyes to Him.  Watch and wait.  He will come.  It is as certain as the dawn!

Punjab Recap – Healing

This may be a lengthy blog entry, but it’s more of a conversation from me to you.  I hope you get to read the entirety because it sums up my experience in Punjab.  There will be a few entries that share with you glimpses of my trip to India, because honestly, one entry doesn’t seem to cut it.  So, I’m looking forward to having you guys stop in again.  Grab a seat.. a cup o’ joe.. and good morning!  *smiles*

Previously I shared with you about an amazing man of God – Dr. Daniel Abraham..

Well, this morning I was emailing him back and a bunch of thoughts came to my mind.  My heart was stirred.  I never got to put my thoughts together on this blog and share with you all an overall re-cap of my trip to Punjab, India through my perspective.

So, I feel like now is the perfect time..

We were a random group of people, comprised of different cultures, denominations, age groups, and personalities.  Yet God made it happen.  As Prijo, Jules, Vickie and I spent more than a week together (many many hours of the day & night) we were able to share so much of what the Lord had been speaking to us about.  Some of us arrived in Punjab with high expectations while others had no idea what to expect, all we knew was that we were in Punjab for a reason.  That reason was the glue to our group.  It was our core.  It is what kept us going when some of us got sick for more than the majority of the trip (haha.. myself included!).

We were stripped from our comforts for much of the trip.  We missed our families and friends back at home.  We missed the smell of air (if you know what this means.. awesome!  haha)  We missed down-time.. simply having leisure time.  I have never missed Chick-Fil-E’s Southwestern Chicken Salad so much in my life.  I think for 4 days nearer to the end of our trip, I couldn’t stop yapping about that salad and how much I wanted it when I got back home.  I usually never get hype about salad, actually I never do, but you start realizing the small things when you are not able to do something as simple as EAT.  I was not able to properly eat in India.  That made an aspect of the trip very difficult, because I felt weak much of the time, my emotions were insane, I’d be laughing one moment and crying the next, nothing would digest right, nausea was ridiculous for me, headaches (which I very rarely receive) I had daily gotten in Ludhiana, India.  I knew the enemy didn’t want me there, but that compelled me even more because I knew the Lord had me there for a purpose.  I found myself praying every night: “Lord, if  You brought me here.. please give me the strength and heal me from whatever this is so I can fulfill what You’ve called me to do.”

Then one night in Batalla while many people came up for prayer, they placed their hand on the part of their body they felt needed healing from God.  So, I figured I would do the same, why not right??  I’ve been asking the same thing for the past 7 days and it wouldn’t hurt me to continue asking.  I remained in my seat, but something felt different that night in my Spirit.  I believed fully that the Lord would heal me from whatever I had, to this day, no one even knows what it was and the toll it took.  So I put my hand on my heart. You may ask, why out of all the places of your body that needed healing would you place your hand on your heart?  Well.. I felt the part that needed healing was my Soul.  My Soul needed to remember that in my weakness He is strong. My prayer did not need to be for physical healing (please do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with this.. I encourage that) but at the time.. my prayer needed to be “Lord, restore JOY to my Soul, so that I may walk in the power and boldness You’ve already designed for me!”

I promise you friends, I never felt the pain again.. at least to the extent it was before.  I can point my finger at many things and justify the healing, but I do know one thing.. on that night, I told God that it wasn’t the physical healing I needed.. I needed my Soul to be restored so that I would walk in what He had called me to walk in. It wasn’t physical health that got Paul rejoicing in the Lord.  His health was falling apart, literally.  It was the JOY and the strengthening of his Spirit that compelled him to complete his course on Earth.

It’s funny that when you are as young as myself, the Lord finds interesting ways to get your attention.  Matt Chandler likes to say that when you’re young you haven’t had the life kicked out of you yet.  There’s truth to this.  I’m praying that by the years my faith would grow in Him.  As Grandpa Abraham sacrificed many things in his 70 plus years of life.. I hope that one day I can do more than just desire to do the same, but actually follow through with it and act upon it.

Much more to share on the next blog entry.. wait for it folks..  *grins*

Outpraising the Heavens

“The heavens tell the glory of God, and the skies announce what His hands have made.  Day after day they tell the story; night after night they tell it again.  They have no speech or words; they have no voice to be heard.  But their message goes out through all the world; their words go everywhere on earth.” -Psalms 19:1-4

Can you even fathom what David just wrote in the Psalms?  These non-breathing things, such as the skies and the heavens declare of God’s awesomeness day after day.  Not a day goes by where they do not proclaim of God’s glory.  They have no way of speaking and zero word usage, but yet their declaration resounds throughout the world.  I think this is absolutely beautiful!  Seriously friends.  Not only is it a beautiful concept, it is also a convicting one.

Where am I going with this?  If these things which have no speaking capabilities, being vast and glorious declare of God’s splendor how MUCH MORE should we as children of God?  There are no excuses at all.  It’s a darn shame when people who call themselves Christians are not able to vocally express their love and praise to God.  It doesn’t seem to be an issue when praising other things – new fads, celebrities & musicians, sports teams.. this list can go on.  You understand.  Why is it so difficult to praise God?

We have mouths and CAN speak and hands that CAN praise.  What is stopping you from declaring God’s glory today?  This is a concern in the Church today because there are way too many people taking up space in the pews and not enough people taking part in action.  The Heavens and the skies proclaim of the greatness of God in whatever ways they can.  We being created in the image of God, should desperately ache to do so as well.  It should be something that is bubbling up in our insides ready to explode.  Like Jeremiah, we should be able to say, “it’s like a fire shut up in my bones.. and I grow weary holding it in..”

Stop holding back admiration & praise for God.  He deserves all of the glory and honor.  How can we be surrounded by the presence of God and not be moved by Him?  Let’s join in with the skies and the Heavens and out-praise them.

“You are holy, great and mighty

The moon and the stars declare who You are

I’m so unworthy, but still You love me

Forever my heart will sing of how great You are”

-Phil Wickham